Jokes
Anti UNIX:
If Unix is the answer, then it must have been a stupid question.
Unix is the only virus with a command-interface.
How can an operating system from 1970 (UNIX) be more modern than an operating system from 1978 (VMS)?
Unix - the first computer virus.
NFS = Nightmare File System.
Berkeley is famous for LSD and BSD UNIX. I don't think that is a coincidence.
Sure, the Unix file system corrupts your files, but look how fast it is!
Friends don't let friends use Unix.
Unix - the ideal operating system for CPU's that are never powered up.
Nothing wrong with Unix that a total redesign and rewrite can not fix.
UNIX will be preempted by NT. UNIX doesn't know it yet - it won't notice until it's too late, because UNIX is the Yugoslavia of software, at war with itself -- but it's all over.
The users of Unix systems said speed wasn't an issue when the Alpha chip was released. The same people tell their wives and girlfriends that size doesn't matter.
If Unix were a beer, then it would be shipped in open casks so that anybody could piss in it before delivery.
UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
UNIX is akin to a religion to some. If things aren't done like they are in UNIX, then they must be bad. Sorry, I don't believe in this religion.
UNIX is a four-letter word!
VI = Virtually Incomprehensible.
Unix is about as user friendly as a blow in the back from an ice-pick, only not quite as productive.
What has happend, when a system-manager gets gray-haired in one day ? One day with a UNIX system !
How do you pronounce UNIX ? You Nix !
Cretin and UNIX both start with C.
The scariest thing about Jurassic Park was that the control systems were Unix.
Why is using a UNIX system like being an Enuch? Everytime you go to do something important, you realize something critical is missing.